A person’s relationship with sex can be influenced by many variables, including physical and mental health, cultural factors, interpersonal relationships, intrapersonal dynamics, life transitions, day-to-day stressors, and more. When one or more of these aspects negatively impacts sexual satisfaction, you might consider seeking the support of a sex therapist.  

A sex therapist is a clinician who, in addition to the general skills required of all therapists, has advanced training in assessment and treatment of sexual concerns. This clinician is comfortable navigating conversations with sexual details and is trained in how to address sexual difficulties in a constructive, impartial, and non-judgmental way. Sex therapy sessions are guided in a paced, safe, and purposeful approach with interventions that align with the goals set by the therapist and client. Sessions can take place individually, or partners may meet with a therapist together. By addressing the cognitive, behavioral, emotional, societal, intrapersonal, and relationship factors that influence sex, a sex therapist can ultimately help a person or couple create a more fulfilling sex life. Sex therapy never involves any removal of clothing in session and never involves any type of physical contact with the therapist. 

Here are some reasons a person may want to meet with a sex therapist - 

1. Sexual Dysfunction. Sexual Dysfunction (SD) refers to problems with desire, arousal, orgasm, or pain that prevents a person from wanting or enjoying sex. A multidisciplinary approach to treatment is beneficial because there are interconnected physical and psychological factors that contribute to SD. It is important to meet with a medical provider to diagnose, rule out, or address any underlying physical contributors to SD. Psychological contributors are addressed in sex therapy through use of specific cognitive, behavioral, and emotion focused strategies. How an individual and intimate partner understands and reacts to SD can play an important role in how the dysfunction is perpetuated. Sex therapy can help individuals and partners interrupt unhelpful narratives about SD in a constructive treatment setting. 

2. Unwanted Thoughts or Feelings Associated with Sex. It can be greatly troublesome for a person to experience shame, anxiety, or other distressing thoughts or feelings associated with sex. There are an abundance of factors that can contribute to and perpetuate this experience. Working with a sex therapist can help to resolve internal conflict about sex and empower a person to embrace their own sexuality and self-expression. Sex therapy offers an impartial space to discuss sexual histories and societal/cultural messages about sex. Through this work, a sex therapist can help a person to reduce cycles of anxiety and shame associated with sex, enhance sexual confidence, and improve self-advocacy skills. Sex therapy can also help a person adjust to changes in sexual functioning or satisfaction as a result of life transitions such as pregnancy, infertility, medical events, and recent/historical trauma. 

3. Differences in Sexual Preferences in Your Relationship. Perhaps there has always been a difference between you and your partner’s sexual wants and needs, maybe you have only recently noticed a change, or maybe you are looking to explore new forms of intimacy in your relationship. Even in the healthiest relationships it can be difficult to talk about differences in sexual wants and needs without fear of miscommunication or disappointment. Working with a sex therapist can help partners more effectively problem solve and communicate about differences in sexual wants and needs. 

4. Sex Education. Sex education is an important part of developing a realistic and healthy sex life. A sex therapist can provide accurate and up to date education on topics of human sexuality, sexual development, and sexual functioning. Clinicians can provide education during session and can also recommend further resources such as books, websites, and podcasts.

To summarize:

Sex therapists are providers with advanced training in sexuality who welcome conversations about sex in a clinical setting. They are passionate about helping individuals and couples build a more purposeful and fulfilling sex life. If you or your sexual partner experience any of the following, you may benefit from consulting with a sex therapist about whether sex therapy is right for you.  

• Dissatisfaction with your sex life 

• Anxiety, shame, or other internal conflict associated with sex

• Misalignment in sexual wants/needs between partners

• Difficulty communicating about sex 

• Pain associated with sex

• Struggle with arousal and/or orgasm 

• Difficulty getting or keeping an erection 

• Premature or delayed ejaculation 

• Past trauma that currently impacts sex

• Out of control sexual behaviors 

• Changes in desire or comfort with sex associated with a life transition (e.g., job loss, grief) or medical event 

Eliana Wool, PsyD is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist. To learn more about her work, you can visit her website www.woolpsychology.com